Redemption. You may be wondering, why would I call this post redemption? Is it because I did something drastically wrong in the past, so now I feel this must be a sign of forgiveness?
It was a wrong that happened in the past, but it was not a wrong done by anyone or anything. And it didn’t need forgiveness.
I would also say my choosing this word is similar to the synonyms of “restoration” or “reinstatement.” It was a past event that has been refreshed, renewed, and restored (I know, that’s a lot of R-words).
Now the explanation begins. And if you know me, it’s hard for me to make any description quick, but I’ll try…
In 2007, I had just come back from a wonderful DTS (Discipleship Training School) with YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and was planning on transferring to an art school in Georgia—SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design)—and I told myself that right after that I would head back on the mission field again to use whatever type of art I had just learned.
And if you know me, you know the story of the traumatic brain injury (TBI) that happened right then in my life. Or if you would like a remembrance/understanding, a quick explanation is here, or the longer/more detailed description can be read here.
Now, being the determined Christie I sometimes can be, I didn’t let that stop me. I began my studies at SCAD, just a quarter later than expected. It was followed by some hard and discouraging years, but thankfully God got me through.
As I was about to graduate from SCAD in 2012, what was I to do after I walked across that stage and received my diploma? Then it dawned on me! I suddenly remembered that past desire. This is what God had laid out for me! I was supposed to go back on the mission field and use my major: graphic design!!
At that time, I searched and emailed many YWAM places that possibly needed a graphic designer, and after several attempts I learned the one in Bangkok, Thailand, really needed one! It all was laid out for me. This was where God was leading me—no doubt.
I started planning when I would head out to Thailand, how I was going to raise the money I needed, and even designed cards to send out asking for support (shown here... but only so you can see my type of mindset back then), but then a sudden red light started flashing.
I had a seizure, which came as a surprise because I hadn’t had one for three years, and it occurred while driving one night in Savannah. I ran into a nearby building, but thankfully nobody else was near there at that time. Unbelievably, all I experienced were many sores from bites on the inside of my lower lip and a broken toe. That was it. This all should have been much worse if you saw the enormous dent/compression on the driver’s side of my car—so much so when I saw it, I was shocked I had survived.
Well, that took my anticipation, expectation, and excitement of heading to Thailand away. The health insurance for my brain injury would never have covered me going overseas at that time, especially if I had just undergone an alarming occurrence that questioned my current health.
And then fast forward 12 years, and you find me in Thailand! I had finally arrived. And yet not for the same reason, nor prospect of what’s to come.
That seizure and being retained to stay in America at that time, eventually led to me being frustrated at not knowing what to do with my life in 2012. I felt worn out from years of studying graphic design, and so after not being sure and not getting any other jobs (besides a small job at the local YMCA), I thought maybe I should ask what God wanted me to do. Then unexpectedly I discovered (off Google), a seminary located in a great place—Colorado—that had a degree I wanted to learn about. I realized I yearned for others to help me remain strong in my faith (even through facing physical/psychological difficulties), as well as I had a desire to help others in that way: spiritual direction.[a]
And so, with the 12 years in between, since I first wanted to head to Thailand, God eventually brought me there. Yet, it was for another reason this time: to spiritually direct others, and even when I am so blessed that I also get to use graphic design for His glory back in Denver.
Now, know that this does not at all mean that I’ve been so well-trained that I am perfect at spiritual direction, or “have it all under my belt,” so to speak. Far from it. I feel I am still a newbie, a beginner. At the retreat, there was a situation when I wasn’t sure what to do with another girl when we were meeting together. I couldn’t think of what to ask her… or maybe just wait for her to respond or make some comment? It was awkward as she seemed anxious for me to direct the conversation. I prayed. And prayed some more. But I heard nothing… or nothing came to my mind.
I definitely could look at that experience and say I failed as a spiritual director. But I pray that God uses that situation to teach me how to react better or know what to do in the future when an awkward silence comes up again—but overall, I need to make sure I allow Him to do His work. I know I have prayed that woman was blessed with the Thrive trip regardless—which it seemed she was when I saw her walk out looking strengthened and ready to head back to the world she left.
So that was my redemption. God had restored something I thought was lost—my desire to go to Thailand—and yet renewed it so that I could do His work in a different way than I initially expected—spiritual direction, instead of graphic design.
-------------------
In the quick email I sent right before the missionary women came, I also stated how God had blessed me already with the other volunteers. It ends up that the facts are:
11 are from Colorado (so I can easily keep in touch with them)
One of those has also had a TBI (so we can relate on that)
One used to be a professor at Denver Seminary (in counseling)
One was the speaker, and she actually spent the first 13 years of her life in Taiwan
Four from North Carolina (with two of them hardcore Carolina (/Tar Heel) fans as well, and one used to be a missionary in Wu Han, China (where I previously visited with YWAM))
One was on summer staff at Windy Gap in the past (the same Young Life camp where I’d been going since childhood on “family camps” and worked as an intern for the summer of 2006).
One used to be a missionary in Battambang and Phnom Penh, Cambodia (the two cities I’ve been to in 2006 with YWAM), and she also got a degree from Denver Seminary in spiritual direction.
My roommate there went to and now works for Bob Jones (the college my dad went to), and so she lives in South Carolina, which isn’t far from where my parents live now in the mountains of North Carolina.
One who currently lives in South Dakota, but she studied spiritual direction at Denver Seminary as well, and she is now bringing me together to spiritually direct another girl who was on this retreat as a missionary..
One lives in Bakersfield, California, which is where I’ve flown a couple times to visit family in Kernville.
One used to be a missionary in Fremantle, Australia, which is where the river that runs by Perth (where I was with YWAM in 2019-2020) reaches the ocean (and where I would go every Sunday on my way to a church in that area).
There were many other awesome women I met and got to know through the ten days we were together—like the first two I met in the Dallas Airport, and we shared the same flights to Qatar and Phuket! (which I thought I would be the only one headed to Phuket on those flights (below is a picture of us at the Qatar airport)
Here is a picture of all of us volunteers together on the last night of debriefing:
(Know that a lot of these, not all, were taken by the professional photographer on this trip)
Right after this picture was taken, we were given dinner on the top of a restaurant at the hotel. It was so fun and pretty, and some Thai women danced for us in their traditional clothing.
Then on our last day together, we got the privilege of going to the Phi Phi Islands (pronounced “pee pee”… which you know it brings a giggle whether you want to admit it or not). It was gorgeous, and even though most of the water was dark blue, it became green once you got to the shoreline. There was one part where only the locals could go on the beach (so obviously we had to stay in the boat), another place where we could go snorkeling if we wanted to (but apparently my head is too big to let the goggles fit… not sure why… maybe my head is full of too much pride?? (haha) ) so I just did some doggie paddling there (with a life vest), and there's an island where we could actually get on the beach. About halfway through the trip, we went ashore to grab lunch to one of the bigger islands and shop like true tourists (there was no way to hide that).
Then on our very last night, my roommate and I sat on the porch outside of our hotel room, just relaxing, looking out at the scenery/beach, taking it in/discussing/commemorating the whole trip. This is what we looked upon that night:
I just want to say overall the whole trip was such a blessing. I truly needed a break like this, and it helped me see that God can really use me in spiritual direction. I am very thankful indeed for all the prayer (especially the ones that were anti-seizures on my trip there and back again) and the support to go on this trip; I don’t have words to thank you all enough. In fact, I hope to do this again, and because it wouldn’t make sense to do another one of their trips later this year, hopefully I’ll be able to go wherever the Thrive retreat will be going next year around this same time
I could use prayer in how I am to keep up with spiritual direction. I love my job as a graphic designer and the organization I do it for, and I pray I can add spiritual direction in there somehow (which hopefully it will work out that I can do it currently with one of the missionary women). Your prayers are much appreciated as always, and please tell me how I can pray for you anytime.
(I wanted (for fun sake) to show a few more pictures of what it was like on my way out of Phuket... at the International airport in Phuket, there was an International Subway (which I've also been to one in Australia)... some mini-Buddhas... and an International Dean & Deluca... (whereas the only one I've been to was at Phillips Place shopping center in Charlotte, NC)... just figured I'd let you see a little more of Thailand...)